


i wanna hold your hand

by natromanoffs



Category: Stranger Things (TV 2016)
Genre: Drabble, Multi, OT3
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-13
Updated: 2019-07-13
Packaged: 2020-06-27 09:43:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,677
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19788286
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/natromanoffs/pseuds/natromanoffs
Summary: steve harrington has a lot of feelings and wants to hold some hands





	i wanna hold your hand

**Author's Note:**

> saw a gif and it got me in my feels and this was the result... love these three

When Steve tells Robin that he’s not in love with Nancy anymore, he means it.

Yes, he used to be in love with her. They used to be in love and things used to be good. But it’s all fucked up now. He did some shit, she did some shit, and shit fell apart. He’s come to terms with it.

But she’s still Nancy, and he’s still Steve. And her eyes still shine like moonlight and it still sends butterflies running down his body.

He’s not sure if they’re friends. Maybe something like it.

\---

One evening, he’s working at Scoops Ahoy, and she comes in. Her hair is wet, freshly showered. He likes her hair like that, always has. She looks more like her, instead of that impeccably groomed priss that she sometimes comes across as. She also looks sad. Yeah, they barely talk anymore, but he doesn’t think a day will ever come when he won’t be able to recognize that sad look on her face. He’s not sure they’re friends enough for him to ask what’s wrong. He’s not sure he knows enough about her life to understand the answer. So he gets her a bowl heaping with mint chocolate chip ice cream, her favorite, covers it with loads of chocolate sauce, just how she likes it. Tells her it’s on the house when she goes to pay. He’ll have to pay for it out of his pocket, but he’ll find a way to make it work. She sits by herself, eating and looking off into the distance with that look on her face. He doesn’t say anything, doesn’t approach her. He just keeps glancing over at her, to make sure she’s not crying, at least. She sits there long after she’s finished her ice cream, picking at her nails. It’s getting late, and he has to start closing, so he begins wiping down the counter and putting the scoopers away. He makes his way to the tables, wipes them down and puts the chairs up. Robin’s not working tonight, so he’s all by himself. He’s cleaned all the tables but Nancy’s, and he’s really gotta close, but he doesn’t want to disturb her. He just kind of mills around for a little while until Nancy seems to realize what time it is.

“Sorry,” she says, standing up. “I should go.” She’s doing that smile that’s so her, it sends memories flooding through the back of his mind. 

“Nancy,” he starts.

She walks away before he can even decide what to say next.

\---

When Robin tells him about Tammy Thompson, he’s shocked at first. When it dawns on him, it sends his mind spinning, but he treats it like it’s fine and they laugh it off. It is fine, of course it’s fine, there’s nothing she could do that’d make him love her less. Okay, he can’t have a romantic relationship with her. That’s fine. She’s his best friend, and nothing could change that. If anything, he thinks it’s brought them closer.

But it’s got him thinking. It’s not that he didn’t know lesbians and gay people existed. Of course he did. But he’d never met one. It makes him wonder. Maybe those weird feelings he gets in his stomach when Jonathan looks at him a little too long mean something. Maybe the way he feels like he wants to touch Jonathan sometimes are more than wanting to give him a friendly hug. It’s got him admitting to himself that, yes, sometimes he gets the urge to hold Jonathan’s hand. Sometimes he finds himself looking a little too long at Jonathan’s lips.

But, Nancy. He loved Nancy, he really did. And she’s still got an effect on him. It’s got him all sorts of confused. He tells Robin this, confides in her. She tells him a new word: bisexual. He’s never really heard of it before, or at least never really knew what it meant. She explains that some people like both girls and boys, and maybe he’s one of those people. 

It makes sense. Bisexual. He thinks about it for a while. 

\---

After it all goes down, after the portal closes, after Hopper dies, he finds himself near Jonathan and Nancy. The two of them are together, wrapped in a blanket, shoulders pressed together. He stands near them. They’re all mostly quiet. So much has happened these last few days. Somehow, standing here, near the two of them, is the most warm his heart has felt in a while. He cares for them, so much. That’s clear to him, he knows that about himself. Nancy whispers something in Jonathan’s ear, and while they’re distracted he takes a moment to reflect. Bisexual. Yeah, that sounds about right. 

\---

When the Byers leave town, he doesn’t say goodbye. He doesn’t know when they’re leaving, so how could he? 

But Nancy comes into the video store one day with tears streaming down her face and Robin immediately runs into the back to get him. He holds Nancy, and through tears she says that Jonathan’s gone. His heart drops. He keeps his arms wrapped tightly around her, but he feels a burning behind his eyes. Robin takes over his shift and he sits outside on a bench with Nancy for hours, and they just talk. She talks about how much she’s going to miss Jonathan, and Steve tells her that he’s really began to like Jonathan. Tells her that he’s gonna miss him too. Doesn’t mention that he feels a little like something was ripped away from him before he even had it. They catch up too. Nancy’s back to working at the newspaper. She’s writing now, and she’s happy with it. He tells her about the video store, and how he’s looking into colleges now, how he’s letting himself hope a little more.

A few nights later, Jonathan calls him. 

“I’m sorry,” are the first words Steve hears when he picks up the phone. Steve recognizes Jonathan’s voice right away. “I’m sorry,” Jonathan repeats. “I should have said goodbye. I just.. I didn’t know how to say it.”

Steve’s breath catches a little in his throat. “That’s okay,” he says, voice uncharacteristically soft. “I think I would’ve just been a mess.” He lets out a dry chuckle, a little shocked at himself that he said that out loud. It’s a step towards admitting to Jonathan how he feels. It’s probably the closest he’ll ever get. 

They talk for a little while. Jonathan tells him about the new house, the new neighborhood. How he thinks it’s fine but it’s not home and he’s not sure it ever will be. Steve does his best to reassure him, stumbling over his own broken heart.

\---

Steve’s been hanging out with Nancy a lot more lately. They talk a lot more. They’re friends, now, really friends. And sometimes when they’re sitting together, he’ll take her hand. She holds his hand back. It gives him a lump in his throat. Sometimes he wonders what would happen if he told her he thinks he might be falling for her again. But she’s in love with Jonathan, so he doesn’t say a thing. And maybe he’s a little bit in love with Jonathan too. 

They’ve figured out how to do three way phone calls, and sometimes they talk late into the night. It hurts, but the pain has sort of dulled. It’s kind of comfortable. It’s not quite what Steve wants, but it’s something. And it’s nice. They talk about everything. Steve tells them about what colleges he wants to go to, what majors he’s considering. Nancy tells him that she thinks he should major in psychology. She says he has a way with people. Jonathan agrees, says that Steve makes him feel comfortable. It sends Steve’s heart shooting all around his chest, but he seriously considers it. Nancy tells them about the stories she’s writing, and the doubts she has about her skills. Steve and Jonathan support her fiercely. Jonathan tells them about his new life, the new people he’s meeting. He tells them that he wishes they were there with him. Steve, heart hurting, encourages Jonathan to meet new people. Tells Jonathan it’s okay if he moves on. Nancy echoes the same sentiments, but cries about it with Steve on some dark nights. 

\---

Thanksgiving is the first time the Byers come back into town. They stay in a hotel, even though Steve knows the Wheelers offered their house up. Dustin is over the moon at having Will back, and talks Steve’s ear off about it. Apparently, they’re playing D&D all the time now, trying to make up for the summer. It’s kind of sweet. It’s nice to see Dustin with that big smile on his face.

Steve’s working at the video store the first time he sees Jonathan again. It’s a chilly morning, and the heater at the store is broken, so Steve tugs his jean jacket closed, striving for warmth. He’s restocking the romance section when Robin taps his shoulder.

“Hey dingus. There are some people outside who wanna see you.”

He assumes it’s Dustin and some of the other kids. But he walks outside to see Jonathan and Nancy, holding hands.

“Hey,” he says. He can tell that his voice is shaking.

Jonathan pulls him into a hug. His arms wrap around Steve tightly and Steve feels like crying. He can’t tell if he’s happy or sad. Jonathan lets go and looks Steve right in the eyes.

“Hey,” Jonathan says back.

Nancy takes Steve’s hand with a sweet smile, and gives it a squeeze. She presses her lips to his cheek then leans her head on his shoulder. 

Jonathan stands on Steve’s other side, and brushes his pinky against Steve’s. Steve’s heart gets lodged in his throat. Slowly, but surely, Jonathan’s fingers entwine with his. 

With Nancy holding one hand and Jonathan holding the other, Steve fills his heart swell. He’s not sure if love can work like this. He’s not sure if this is love. But it’s something like it.


End file.
